Relationships

Why is it so hard to have a romantic relationship nowadays?

What’s the key to finding that special someone and making things work?  Is online dating the way to go? 

I’ve been single for a long time. I’ve had “friends” that I’ve spent time with. Fell hard and had my heart broken. I’ve been told I want too much. I love too much. 

How can you love to much?  

When I was married, I loved doing romantic things for my husband.  I would bake heart shaped cookies and surprise him with a bottle of sparkling cider and a picnic lunch during the day.  I have made chicken soup and brought it to a lover when he was feeling down. I have even sent flowers to a man. I’ve made romantic dinners, bought the sexy lingerie, lit candles in the bedroom.  All of that, but have never really felt like it was appreciated. 

After being single for so long, it seems impossible to find that person.  I have been on dating sites and hook-up sites. I have seen the same men on the reputable sites looking for “their last first kiss and their best friend, and I have seen the same men the others sites looking for a FWB or the perfect sex mate.  Really! What is that?  

I’ve been on dates. Sat and talked for hours in a restaurant or bar. I’ve gone hiking and overlooked the most beautiful scenery with a handsome gentleman, and listened to him say, “great spot for bow hunting.”  I’ve spent the afternoon at a winery, made a beautiful basket filled with snacks and watched the sun go down, hoping the he would say something sweet or special only to hear, “a big screen TV and a cold beer would be perfect right over there. 

Do I want too much?  What do any of us want?  Is romance only in my imagination?

I’ve been on the dating sites and seen the profiles of what seem to be the perfect match. “Romance isn’t dead, it’s right here. I will hold doors and pull out your chair. Bring you flowers and hold you hand.”. Then when actually meeting him, not only does he not pull out your chair, he is seated before you even take your coat off, and as for holding doors open, guess what dude, that’s common courtesy.  You should hold the door for someone walking in behind you. I do, and yes I have been stuck holding the door as a parade of people walk past me. I have lost my place at a restaurant because of it and my date actually commented, “See what being nice gets you, now we have to wait even longer for a table.” And yes, for those of you wondering. He did say he held doors for strangers.

What do men want?  What is there idea of romance?  Is being romantic different for a single man and a married man?

I’m not unreasonable, I don’t have overly high expectations. I just want to know where to find that guy who makes my heart flutter or sends a rush of electricity through me when our lips meet.

And for those of you who say, relationships change after a while.  Yes, I know they do, but does that mean the romance dies out. I have a friend who’s been married for 32 years and her idea of romance is her husband washing the dishes and sweeping the kitchen floor after dinner.  For those who have been married for more than a few years, does that mean you have to try a little harder to keep the romance alive or find other ways to express your romance.

Whether you’ve been on the dating sites for years or look for Mr. Perfect in the grocery store or the isles of Home Depot, the hard part is finding someone to be romantic with forever.